June 11, 2009

Our Heavenly Father in His tender mercies answered our prayers that Bryce would be taken quickly and would no longer suffer. He passed away much quicker than we anticipated, which is a blessing. Bryce passed away at 5:55 p.m. today. Although this is extremely difficult we all feel confident that the Lord's will has been done. Bryce is finally free from all pain and suffering. It was six weeks ago today that he was admitted to the hospital.

Bryce's need for oxygen and blood pressure medication continued to increase through the night and this morningthe surgeon met with us. She said our last hope was to take him to emergency exploratory abdominal surgery. The surgeon met with us in the waiting room and told us that the surgery went relatively well and it appeared that he was okay. However, we then found out that they had to take him back to surgery because he was bleeding extenstively - the reason was due to his liver failure he was not able to clot his blood. They did the best they could and put him back in shock trauma where they gave him Factor Seven, a very expensive medication that has the ability to clot the blood. We were able to see him while 5-6 nurses and doctors were working on him trying to save him and after seeing his traumatized body we asked that they stop all interventions. We felt that he had suffered enough and it was time for him to return home. They kept him sedated and gradually turned down the ventilator and the blood pressure medications. We chose not to be in the room as he looked so awful. He passed away about 15 minutes later.

As I mentioned in my updates the last couple of days Bryce was going through much confusion. However, last night and this morning he was very lucid. We had the sacred blessing of being able to say our good-byes. The first thing he said to his mother this morning when we got to the hospital was: "Mom, I want to go home. Can I go home now?" This choked us up and we now believe that he was talking about going home to Heavenly Father.

Our daughters, Alisha and Heidi, were trying to arrange babysitting for their children and the original plan was for them to take turns being at the hospital. We feel that Heidi was inspired to invite their cousin, Val, to come to the home this morning to watch the kids so that they could both be at the hospital. What a great blessing it was to have Alisha, Heidi, Jerica, Kendra and I with Bryce prior to surgery to tell him that we loved him and to say good-bye to him before surgery - we knew that there was a great risk that Bryce would not survive surgery. Bryce expressed his love for each of us which was so tender.

As I mentioned in one of the previous updates there have been times in the past that the relationship between Bryce and I has been strained. This morning I told him how much I loved him and how grateful I was to be his father. He replied back of how much he loved me and thanked me for being his Dad. Although he has told me that he loved me many times throughout his life - this was particularly touching to me. Then he added: "Dad, I know you have gone through a lot for me and I really appreciate it." I cannot express how I cherish his words!

As an example of Bryce's faith - we told him that he needed to have surgery and our concerns about the seriousness of it - he responded "then let's have a prayer." With Dr. Alonso, the surgeon present, I asked Bryce if he was okay with surgery and had any questions. He then asked all of us to leave, except Jerica, and they met alone with the surgeon. Bryce asked Jerica if she was okay with the surgery and she said yes and he replied, then so am I. He was always thinking of her and wanting her involved in the decisions.

Dr. Alonso told us when we met with her that we felt it was time to let him go and to stop any further medical interventions. She told us how touched they were by Bryce. She said that they were shocked that Bryce survived the first few days when he was admitted six weeks ago and how resilent he was and what a fighter he was. As the Apostle Paul said: "I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith." Truly Bryce fought a good fight throughout his life of adversity. Through this six-week trial he was purified and we feel that he is prepared to meet our Savior! What a blessing and privilege it has been to have Bryce as our son.

We are so grateful for all of your prayers for Bryce and our family - please be assured that although we wanted Bryce to live and marry Jerica that we truly do believe that the Lord knows what is best and that His will has been done.

We have a lot of faith and hope in a statement that Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin said in General Conference in October 2008: "The Lord compensates the faithful for every loss. That which is taken away from those who love the Lord will be added unto them in His own way. While it may not come at the time we desire, the faithful will know that every tear today will eventually be returned a hundredfold with tears of rejoicing and gratitude."

Love,

Ken and Kendra

10 comments:

Brad and Lori Myers said...

Dear Ken and Kendra,
Thank you for sharing with us your precious moments with your son. Our hearts ache for you and your family and his sweet fiance. May the Lord bless you with peace and comfort during this difficult time.
Almost 25 years ago, the following words of a hymn comforted us in our time of need at the passing of our son. We hope they will comfort you in some way. Our thoughts, love, and prayers are with you.

"Not now, but in the coming years,
It may be in a better land,
We'll read the meaning of our tears,
And there, sometime, we'll understand.

We'll catch the broken threads again
And finish what we here began.
Heaven will the mysteries explain
And then, ah then we'll understand.

We'll know why clouds instead of sun
Were over many cherished plan
Why song has ceased when scarce begun
"Tis there sometime we'll understand.

Why what we long for most of all
Eludes so oft our eager hand
Why hopes are crushed and castles fall
Up there, sometime we'll understand.

God knows the way; he holds the key;
He guides us with unerring hand;
Sometime with tearless eyes we'll see
Yes, there, up there we'll understand.

Then trust in God through all thy days
Fear not, for He doth hold thy hand;
Thou dark thy way, still sing and praise,
Sometime, sometime, we'll understand."

skbkmjfamily said...

I can only imagine the beautiful scene of a whole Bryce finally finding the rest he earned here in this life. Thank you for sharing your faith, your thoughts, and your son with us. As I said before being with your family in those first years of Bryces life was the beginning of a testimony of faith and prayers through our trials. I hope that you are able to feel Bryce's love during these difficult times. We love you.

Anonymous said...

I had no idea Bryce was in the condition that he was these past six weeks. I'm so grateful that I decided to stop by with my wife and daughter six months ago to say hi to Bryce.
Bryce was a great friend growing up. I remember all the fun sleep over's and the crazy things we did when we were young.
I remember, when I was the one in the hospital bed preparing to have my kidney taken out, Bryce, not quite understanding the situation, offered to donate his only kidney to me. Bishop Moss said, "Bryce, I don't think that's such a good idea. You only have one." Bryce was so thoughtful and was just looking out for one of his friends.
Yes, Bryce is in a much better place. I look forward to seeing him once again.
Please let me know when the funeral services will be.
Sincerely,
Jimmy Thomas

Tiffanie said...

My heart is with your family all of your family. I know that the sadness I feel right now, and the tears I'm shedding don't compare to yours and for that I pray for your comfort. I've always loved your family so very dearly, and will always cherish the great memories you have given me and my family.

I too thank you for sharing this experience with us. I was hoping for a good outcome. And although this wasn't ideal, I am also so grateful for our dear Saviour's love in knowing to bring Bryce home.

Alisha and Heidi, the pain of losing your brother is one I know too well. Please find comfort in knowing that there will be times when you are hurting and having a bad day, that you will feel Bryce with you. The pride you have of having such a great brother is not something that goes away. I still can feel Jamin near me after 22 years, and am so proud of him.

I love you all so dearly, and my thoughts, heart and prayers are yours.

Anonymous said...

I just bawled hearing the news about Bryce and reading this blog. I am so sorry for all of you. My thoughts and prayers are with you today. My mom was very good at keeping us all updated with how he has been doing these past weeks. I am so glad he is no longer suffering and that he has returned home to his Heavenly Father. I am so happy you were all able to be there together and express your love to him. I love you all so much and know that I am not the only one that looks up to you all. You are an amazing family and Bryce was very blessed.

I want to express my love to Jerica....I am a long time family friend of the Moss family and although I have never met you my heart is with you. I can't imagine what you are going through right now. I am so sorry for your loss and hope you will find peace and comfort from the Lord.

I remember playing with Heidi many times back in elementary school and Bryce was always around to tease us, eat whatever food we were making and just watch movies and hang out with us. I also remember always playing "pogs" with him. He truly was a sweet and amazing person. I hope you all know how much love is sent your way and what incredible people you all are. Please know how much my family and I love you. We are always here for you. Please let us know what you need help with.

With love,
Annie Nelson

Anonymous said...

Kendra,

We have been praying each day (sometimes several times a day) for Bryce (to heal if it was Heavenly Father's will) and for your family and Jerica to receive comfort. I am broken-hearted at the news today.

As I think about how much he will be missed, I can't help imagining him returning to a Heavenly Father who, in perfect love, has missed Bryce for the years he has been here on Earth.

Please know that there are so many of us that love you and continue to pray for you!

Natalie Christensen

Anonymous said...

We met Bryce the first and only time at the Draper temple open house. Kris and I could tell there was something special about your son. I can't imagine the heartache of losing a child. Your courage, faith and testimony through all of this has been an amazing inspiration to us. And I'm sure I speak for so many in the Sandy Midvally Stake. May the Lord pour out peace and comfort as you move forward.

John Slauson

Anonymous said...

Dearest Moss Family,
You are and will remain in our prayers as we humbly express our condolences in your immeasurable earthly loss of Bryce. The extraordinary writings you have so beautifully and lovingly created and for those of us privileged to have read and felt of the Spiritual strength ~ you have conveyed through modern technology will forever remain treasured keepsakes. Your faith has moved Spiritual mountains for Bryce, for your family, for those gifted to witness and be touched by your incredible faith in belief in God's plan ... the plan we only dream to understand. The faith that Bryce and Jerica have individually and together is humbling. We lovingly extend our condolences to each of you. As parents, it seems obvious that a very special match was made in heaven long, long before this touching day on earth arrived. "For God so loved the world that He gave his only begotten Son that whosoever shall believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life" (John 3:16)
With love,
the Kamahele family
(formerly CWH 3rd Ward neighborhood)

Anonymous said...

Everday was a gift, knowing Bryce. Our family feels it was a blessing and a privilege to be his friend. We love you all and will continue in our prayers for each of you. Thanks for your example of strength and courage.
Love,
Jeanne & Dave and Family

Anonymous said...

Dear Ken and Kendra,
Thank you so much for sharing these thoughts with us. As i returned from the viewing and read though this blog I was deeply touched and reflected back on the love and support we as the 4th floor nurses at Cottonwood Hospital gave each other. We shared our happy times and our difficult times. I was grateful to have you to lean on in my trials and I felt great love and empathy as you shared your trials with me.
Thank you for these cherished memories. We were like family and I am grateful for the love and support we all gave each other.

Love you dearly,
Becky Seare

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