June 10, 2009

It is after 12:30 a.m. and I just got home from the hospital - it has been another very emotional day. Bryce's blood pressure continued to drop and he was retaining more fluids. The decision was made to move him back to the shock trauma ICU. Although this was tough to see him taking a big step backwards we were grateful to have more attention given to him in his current medical situation. In fact, it is likely that this saved his life tonight.

In the ICU they placed an arterial line in his wrist, which among other things records his blood pressure onto a heart monitor. Anyway the nurse stepped out and I was watching the heart monitor and saw his systolic blood pressure gradually begin to drop from the high 90s into the 80s. When it started dropping into the 70s I immediately went to get some help. Surprisingly at that moment no nurses or doctors were around, which is very unusual as his room was by the nurses desk. It took a minute to get someone to come in and when they finally took action his blood pressure had dropped to 70/36. They immediately got some medication into his IV to raise his blood pressure. (Anyway if Bryce wouldn't have been in ICU with continuous blood pressure monitoring who knows what would have happened.) We went from having no one around to at one point having a couple of nurses and four doctors in the room assessing him. It was at this point that they placed an additional central line in Bryce to have additional access to his blood vessels.

It seems almost like déjà vu to be back in shock trauma ICU and see Bryce again retaining increased fluids - he has now gained an additional 45 lbs of excess fluids and is back on continuous dialysis. Fortunately he is not on a ventilator and he can communicate with us now, which he was very limited in before. (Bryce approved to have a short-term ventilator, if needed to save his life, but nothing long-term.)

His CT scan came back showing no abscesses in his abdomen, which is good news. The infectious disease doctor believes that since none of his blood cultures have shown anything that his continual low grade fever and higher white blood count are the result of either a general inflammatory response to his sickness or that the lymphoma is coming back. Hopefully tomorrow we will get the results of the liver biopsy, which hopefully will give all of us some answers.

Bryce is having more confusion the last two days and has now developed a tremor in his body - these are potential signs of additional liver failure.

He was in a lot of pain this evening, but as always this very special person continues to thank those who care for him and is always so polite. It has been so touching to us to observe this because we know that it is human nature to usually not be very kind to others when we don't feel well - particularly to those who cause us additional trauma through needle sticks, etc. I firmly believe that this affliction that Bryce has gone through has been purifying to his soul.

We had some sacred moments with him this evening as he expressed love to his family members. It was special as he asked if he could hold his grandmother's hand and held it for quite awhile. She wanting to give someone else an opportunity moved away and he asked, "Grandma, please hold my hand again." He expressed great love for his sister and said he was so grateful to have her as his sister. She needed to hear this and weeped. He expressed his love for Jerica and others.

Tonight when we went back to the hospital it was very hard to see him suffering as he appeared to be in a lot of pain. We know that the Lord can still heal Bryce and continue to feel that this still may be the Lord's will - knowing that sometimes the blessings do not come until after the trial of our faith. However, our main prayer continues to be that the Lord's will be done, that Bryce will not have to continue to suffer, and that whatever happens will happen quickly to end his suffering.

We continue to feel gratitude for the continuous love and support and prayers that we have felt from all of you.